Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
