You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
