I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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