You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there was a trapeze. enough said
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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