He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
