the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize