I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
