I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
