hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
