I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
