my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
