he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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