im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize