thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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