I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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