I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
