guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
