Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
