Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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