Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
