ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize