Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
