I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
