I think I am morally bankrupt
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
