I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh god it's open bar.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
