This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize