It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
