please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
