I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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