spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
