I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
