ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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