census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
