So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
