Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
