I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize