Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
