Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
