The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
