Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
