The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
and she was petting her beer can
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
