we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
