There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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