I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
