Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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