He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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