I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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