Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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