Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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