I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
