I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
