Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
