woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
