Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
