I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize