Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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