Is it normal to miss your booty call?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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