The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
