I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
