so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
