I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
