She is in my trunk
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
