So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
