And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we're making bets on your personal life
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
