I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
