She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize