I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
