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The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
