Ambien. No doubt about it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
