Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
