i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
