nut hugger
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
