I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
