It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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