Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize